Name: Patrick F, Kent, UK Date/Time: 11 July 2021, 09.30am
Message: Dear President for Life Donald Tusk,
All hail the Projekt of ever closer union!
I am a former citizen of the UK, now a subject of the federation penal colony UK.
Since the EU broke off diplomatic relations with the USA last week and have abandoned NATO, I am responding to your appeal for all residents of the federal superstate to contribute to our EU defence forces.
Our local defence unit, Colonists, Retired and Pensioners (CRAP) have raised a total of one euro. We would have sent more, but since colony UK is now a net beneficiary of the superstate, we feel the sole contributor (Greater Germany) should foot the bill.
How time flies, since the UK Referendum five years ago!
My overseer is ordering me back to picking the turnip crop, so I must close this EUmail.
All hail the Projekt!