Picture the scene, if you will: a hastily convened meeting of COBRA, with the Home Secretary, Theresa May, in the chair.
May: I just don’t get it. We bring these people over here, in their millions, from the Third World and treat them better than we treat our own people, but are they in the least bit grateful? No, they want to murder us in the name of their religion of peace.
Head of MI5: Well, you know, just between ourselves, that stuff about “religion of peace” is only for public consumption. It’s a bit like Iraq’s “weapons of mass destruction” – purely imaginary.
Cameron: Well, it worked for Tony, didn’t it? The thing is that these immigrants need to understand that their job is to sit tight, claim their benefits, social housing and healthcare and vote Labour. The trouble is that some of them seem to think that they can take over.
Commissioner of Metropolitan Police: Sharia, Prime Minister.
Cameron: She’s one of them, yes.